Fearless to Fearful...to...

January 20, 2014

I woke up too late and didn't make it to the gym, like I had thought about the night before. I did ride my airdyne
for 15 minutes, which sucked royaly.

I was at work today and during my working, I usually listen to podcasts. Usually its either entreprenurial stuff or
motivating self discovery interview or cooking. Today I listened to Lewis Howes interview his brother who had
gone to jail when he was 19 for drugs. He was locked up for 4 years. In that time he learned a great deal about himself
and the human condition. One lesson I learned from him was about fear. He plays jazz violin. ( I know...you'd just have to hear it) anyway, he discussed how, for example, a person who could play an instrument well enough to play with a band, would not play on the fly when requested. He said, if you played for nothing and no one else but you, for the pure enjoyment of it; you wouldn't fear playing in front of someone because it would be something you loved to do above all else. By refusing, you're not playing for yourself, you're playing to please someone, or seek approval..or worse, to stroke your ego. How true those words were to me about my past and present. I have often thought of when that day was, when I stopped being fearless and became fearful.

I then listened to a young poet of the spoken word who managed to cultivate a disposition within himself that totally embraces the present moment. How sad that so many of us live for the past or future but neglect the present and all that it has to offer. To enjoy what you have right now and to love what you are doing now, because now is all that matters and you aren't guaranteed tomorrow and the next second. Do what you love, no matter if it is perfect - doesn't have to be. Do it for the love, because you're able. Do it your way, the only way you can.

Last, I listened to a man who in his young life because an editor and publisher, successful and highly enjoyed what he did. In his second half of life, as he puts it, he ventured into a new direction. He works on the Iron Chef and such tv shows, but he has traveled to over 70 countries and has visited all 50 states...all by merely saying 'yes'.

I became so motivated that I did the workout that I missed this morning, when I got home from work.

I have been missing the point. I had fun before and I was driven with purpose...all the while, having fun. I need to find that again.